Years ago I began to sense, feel and hear a small strong voice. At times the voice was not audible. I didn’t quite understand what I was experiencing. I knew that I had a burning desire moving me forward. It seemed to want to pull me in a different direction. The feeling intensified and would not go away no matter how much I ignored it. At times I thought I was losing my mind. At the same time I grew tired. Tired of being tired. A different type of tired. I began to want more out of life. I questioned my situations, my relationships, my purpose in life and who I was. I felt confused and overwhelmed because I had so many questions but very few answers. I couldn’t explain much but one thing remained constant – the feeling would not go away and the feeling seemed to be leading me in a completely different direction – a better direction. The only problem was that I didn’t know how I was going to arrive at this new better destination. Even though I didn’t know much about this voice, this persistent feeling that kept me up at night, this new life and the cause of it all – I did know that if I didn’t begin to listen and respond to the small still voice of God then I would not survive.
I prayed to God, cried, read and did research. What I came to realize was that what I was experiencing was the true instinct to survive – to live – to be healthy – deep down I was crying out desperately – yearning for more – yearning to truly live a happy, healthy purposeful life. I longed for love. I ultimately came to admit that I could not live the life I wanted to live until my pain was healed. I came to realize that my plan to stop the pain would and could never work. I admitted I needed a new plan. I needed to learn something new. And so I embarked on a journey of recovery to a healed life. My journey began with receiving and believing God’s love and grace was enough. His grace is powerful enough, loving enough and more than enough to heal me, provide for me and bless me in a way that I or any other could. And his grace was available if I accepted it. Today my recovery journey is one I choose to walk with Christ. His voice leads me and comforts me. I know that He is all I need and I am his beloved, victorious and worth enough to die for. I am worth it. And so you are. That is why recovery is for you. You are worth the life you long to live.
Recovery may not always sound like what you imagine. It doesn’t always start like you think it should. But one thing is usually true – it starts with something deep inside of you wanting change and wanting to live. Recovery is healing. And healing is when the thing that hurts doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. Or the pain from the thing that hurt you does not control you like it used to.
Are you hurting? Are you so angry about this pain that you find yourself enraged and stressed? Are you controlled by your past? Are your thoughts dominated by anxiety? Are you imprisoned by your fears? Are you surrounded by negative and hurtful people? Are you repeating the same patterns of pain over and over again? Are you keeping a secret? Have you come up with your own plan to feel better which includes hiding your pain, drinking, drugs, cigarettes, prescription drugs, self injury, sex and or self sabotage? Or maybe you don’t feel safe around others – you don’t trust anyone. You avoid intimacy and sex. Have you lost all hope and faith? Do you feel unloved, unlovable and unable to give or receive love? Do you just want to feel loved and happy? Or have you just about given up? Are you in so much pain that you just want to end it all?
There is hope. Don’t let go. You are closer than you think. These feelings are the beginning of healing.
Do you know that you can be healed from this pain and go own to live your dreams?
You can heal!
The process of healing is called recovery and it is possible for you to recover .
Everyone call heal. Even you.
Read the statements below and place a checkmark next to the statement that best describes how you currently feel.
_____I feel stuck in a rut like I am constantly repeating negative patterns and experiences even though I really want a change
_____I admit I can’t recover on my own
_____I don’t know much about recovery but am interested in learning
_____I’ve been hurting for a very long time but I have hope in a better life
_____I want to believe in myself
_____I want to love, respect and value the real me
_____I want to give love and receive love
_____I agree to work with a health care professional that I trust to work towards optimal health
_____I am open to a variety of learning resources including books, videos, online classes and support groups
_____I am tired of being tired? I am worn down emotionally. I am drained from the weight of constant pressure, fear, anxiety, confusion, doubt and/or low self esteem
_____I respect other Survivors and believe that their lives can serve as a source of inspiration and encouragement for me
_____I feel alone and as if no one understands me. I am isolated with very few people to turn to for help
_____I believe that resources, tools and support specifically tailored for Survivors will help me to heal
_____I feel empty
_____I feel numb
_____I want a better life but am not sure how to grab hold of what I really want
_____I want to move forward but fear failure
_____I have dreams and hopes but have difficulty walking into my destiny
_____I am open to guidance and support to achieve my goals
_____I have at least a little hope and faith
_____I am ready to love and trust
_____I want to live
_____I long to be happy
_____I feel like I am in prison
_____I never really had the opportunity to live my own life the way I wanted to live
_____I want to be healthy
_____I am ready to tell my story
Remember, recovery is a process that begins with admitting that you are in pain and that you want to feel better and you can’t do it alone. Admitting that you are hurting is the strongest and most powerful step in the recovery process and actually asking for that help is the next.