Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight – Provers 3:5-6
Trusting God is believing that God is your heavenly Father and that He wants a relationship with you so that He can, love, bless, protect, guide and lead you into His plan for your life. For a Survivor this is particularly important because we yearn for someone good and powerful to help and heal us. Someone that we trust will not hurt us. This is difficult for many us because we have been hurt so badly and often by someone in a position of power that we don’t trust anyone.
If we want healing, it is imperative that Survivors accept that it begins with trusting in God to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Here’s what I mean. If we are honest, we will admit that we have created somewhat of a survival plan – a plan in which we have placed ourselves at the center – a plan in which we rely on ourselves to save us from our pain. For some of us, this plan involves silence. We conclude that if we don’t talk about our painful experiences that they will hurt less. We live with secrets. No one knows the depth of our pain because we go through great lengths to hide it. We spend a life time hiding and pretending that everything is fine and that our silence will keep us safe. Others attempt to soothe the pain with food, pills or alcohol. We add layers to our bodies, layers that we hope will hide our beauty so that others will not find us attractive and we will therefore be safe. Or we dull the pain with pills and drugs because they are so effective at taking our minds to another level all the while denying that we are no longer in control and that the thing we trusted to help us has now enslaved us. And then many of us believe that relationships and the pleasure significant others bring will be so intense and so perfect and so long lasting that it will right every wrong, heal every wound and mend our broken hearts.
Unfortunately and inevitable many Survivors realize that no matter how crafty, strategic and well intentioned our survival plans are, they primarily don’t work; are inefficient and for the most part are counterproductive. Many of us go from situation to situation in hopes that something will take the pain away or that someone will rescue us. When we turn to others we are actually trusting that they possess this awesome ability to selflessly heal or help us and to never hurt us. We fail to realize that people and things are flawed and that no person or thing, no matter how nice or kind or pleasing, can do for us and help us like God can.
It is only after we are tired and disappointed with our plan and all of our options have been exhausted do we turn to God as a last resort. I know that I did. I cannot say that I turned to God once I left home and escaped the torture of my abusive and dysfunctional home. Quite the contrary. I did not trust God. I did not turn to God and I did not believe God cared enough, and/or knew enough about me or my situation to help me. In my offense however I admit that I was such a young, naïve and broken hearted young lady who didn’t know much of anything. So I struggled and searched for someone to help me for years and years. I turned to people. I turned to the bottle and I turned on myself. But rarely did I turn to God. It was only after years of abuse and neglect, much of which I inflicted on myself, did I throw my hands in the air and cry out, “I give up, I give up, I cannot do this anymore!!!!!! I can’t do this!!!! If you are out there God – please help me!” And I praise God that He heard my prayers and He did restore, heal and love me through my recovery. Today I am so glad that I decided to trust God. I am free, healed, whole and loved.
So what does trusting God mean for a Survivor? It means that at some point we realize that we can’t, heal ourselves, we don’t have the answers, we can’t protect ourselves from any and everything and that we are not all powerful. It means that there is someone stronger, smarter and more capable of healing and freeing us from our prison and pain and that it is not our family and friends. A Survivor that trusts God is a Survivor that leans on God for direction, purpose, relief, love, safety and trusts that He will do what He says He will do and that He will do it for a Survivor like me and you.
Why not trust God with your heart? With your pain? With your life? You have nothing to lose except for the chains that bind you and so much to gain like a life of love, freedom, joy and peace. How do you trust God – well start with believing with your heart that you need God and that He loves you and then declare – I will trust in the Lord with all my heart. I will not lean on my own understanding. I will acknowledge Him and I trust He will make my path straight!