Stopping the Cycle of Pain in My Family

Numbers don’t necessarily motivate me to advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I am passionate about this issue because I know first hand how it can slowly destroy you IF – the proper attention and care is not given to the survivor. I have felt the pain and still feel pain today. My heart has been broken, my body used and treated so carelessly, my eyes have seen things I can’t take back and I’ve heard inconsiderate things from loved ones that I didn’t expect to react in such a selfish way. I have the scars, both physical and mental. I’ve cried and almost died. I’ve contemplated suicide, abused alcohol, been depressed, felt alone and hopeless. My pain motivates me.

I would not wish what I went through on another human being in this universe.

I thank God I came through it all.

But I’m not a numbers person. I’m an emotional, caring, compassionate person. I care about others. But if I cared about numbers and statistics alone – I’d still be passionate about this issue. I’ll just say that I care about the issue and the many people CSA affects.

42,000,000 people in the US have been sexually abused.

Let me write that again with greater impact.

42,000,000 people in the US have been sexually abused.

84, 000,000 people know for certain that a crime has been committed against a child – the abuser and the survivor – and neither is likely to come forward. And so the cycle of abuse and pain continues. The abuser may continue to go on and abuse other children and the child may mature into an adult with a hell of a lot of baggage. And so I continue to think about the cycle from a strictly numbers perspective.

If 84,000,000 million hurt people, whether they are the abuser or the survivor, go on to intentionally or unintentionally hurt one other human being each – then the number affected by one incidence of CSA rises to 168,000,000.

Which is why I started this blog. We must stop the cycle of abuse and pain. I’ll be the man in the mirror starting with myself. Since starting this blog I have learned to think of myself as a survivor, an advocate and an agent of change. I’ll take some responsibility in dealing with CSA. Its not enough for me to post articles, interview other survivors and share inspirational videos. What’s at the center of my heart is that I don’t increase the number of casualties because I am too wrapped up in my own pain, because I am angry or because I want vengeance. And I am going to start at home. I am a wife and a mother to 3 beautiful sons. And if I do nothing more than give them all that  is pure and honest and lovely inside of me –  then I know that I have done my part to end the cycle of abuse from my own particular situation.

So I guess I am a numbers person – in my own way – I have 3 special reasons to end the cycle of pain.

I can’t do this alone – so I am asking you to love a Survivor today – and if you are a Survivor – I’ll spread some love to you now – thank you for reading this article – know that you are not alone – and you are loved by the Magnificent Creator of the entire Universe – God Almighty!

Now pass this on to one other person!


Darkness to Light Organization

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s